I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize