maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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