Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
