Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize