girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
