rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
