The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
