It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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