if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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