I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
