He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
