she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
