At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
