I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
