At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
