I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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