dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
