I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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