Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize