I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
