I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
