it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Man, jail baloney is awful.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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