ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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