Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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