Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
