I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
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