i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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