i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Randomize
