i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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