I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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