I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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