Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Everyone says I win the strip club
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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