you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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