You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
So much Jack, so little girl.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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