That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
