Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
The uberlube is also flammable
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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