I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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