There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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