I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
