white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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