I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize