did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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