I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Randomize
