The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
