when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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