Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
