So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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