I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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