If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
someone owes me an orgasm
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm sobbing to NWA
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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