You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
