you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
