I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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