I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Dicks are not precious.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
