i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
someone owes me an orgasm
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
