We got so high we made milksteak
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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