So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
