Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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