I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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